I was working with a client recently who’s just a few months into a new job. The role is exactly what she was looking for, and after many months of unemployment, she’s grateful not just for the security it provides but for the opportunity it’s given her to take on a more senior leadership role. While there’s been a bit of a learning curve getting used to the kind of work she’s doing now, it’s made more challenging by one of the very reasons she so badly wanted the role in the first place: the Black woman leading the organization.
I broach this conversation with extreme care, and before we go any further, let me be very clear: this is not an opportunity to ridicule or gang up on Black women. Our jobs are hard enough, and leadership, especially at the chief executive officer or executive director level, is challenging for anyone to do. But Black women struggling on the job because of the Black women leading them is a trend that I’ve seen countless times both as a coach and in my own personal experience. So what causes it?
Internalized Racial Oppression
When you stay in the corporate world and racist, toxic environments long enough, it can be easy to become beholden to cultural norms and beliefs that you once thought you would never uphold. For Black women, that means we can become susceptible to upholding the same principles that were meant to denegate us and keep us in our place.
Whether it’s altering our appearance to be better received, changing our tone to not be perceived as angry, or completely withholding our true thoughts and opinions, there’s a slippery slope between playing the game and becoming part of it. If we’re not careful, we can begin to hold ourselves to White Supremacy Culture’s impossible standards and expect other Black women to do the same.
As a light-skinned Black woman in corporate America, I was hyper-aware of the ways colorism gave me preferential treatment in many settings. The unspoken but deeply ingrained biases that associate lighter skin with professionalism, intelligence, or approachability created advantages I did not ask for—but benefitted from nonetheless.
That awareness came with a responsibility: to name it, to challenge it, and to refuse to participate in the systems that upheld it. Colorism isn’t just about individual experiences—it’s about a deeply rooted structure that determines who gets listened to, who gets promoted, and who is seen as ‘safe’ or ‘threatening’ in professional spaces.
Uprooting anti-Blackness in the workplace begins within. If you’ve had traumatic and painful experiences in the workplace as a Black woman, you don’t have to go at your healing alone. Working with an experienced and trusted coach or therapist can help you to unpack the parts of your journey that feel too painful to broach.
It’s often said that hurt people hurt people, and that principle applies here. That’s not to excuse the many harmful ways that Black women in leadership can show up at work and take that out on the Black women around them. But it does give us necessary insight into how the cycle of hurt is created, and what can be done to stop it.
Believing the Lie That ‘There Can Only Be One’
I’ve been rewatching the show “Being Mary Jane” and was struck by the dynamic between Mary Jane (played by Gabrielle Union) and her news idol Ronda (played by Valarie Pettiford). When Mary Jane moved to New York City from Atlanta to take a role on the same morning show as Ronda, she was told by the show’s producer (a White man) that they would soon promote her to lead anchor. Ronda then explained to Mary Jane that she was being played because in the station’s eyes, two feuding Black women would be good for ratings– despite the impact it would have on them personally.
Ronda was no angel in this situation either. She betrayed Mary Jane by hiring a producer who once got her fired, undermining her every chance she got, and attempting to make her look bad on the air. But Ronda fell into a trap that many Black women come to believe: the age old lie that ‘there can only be one.’
In a world where DEI is under fire and giving someone other than White folks a fair shot is just too much to bear, it’s no wonder that many Black women fall into the fearful belief that only one of us can be on top or shine. And to an extent, they’re right. Many companies simply aren’t ready to cede and share power with multiple Black women at a time.
Buying into this lie is a choice, and Black women can choose differently by showing up as the mentor, advocate, and leader that they needed at different points in their career. It’s White Supremacy Culture that believes in individualism, and we don’t have to buy in. You don’t make room for more Black women to have a seat at the table by making them squeeze into the little space in the corner that’s left. You advocate for more, because we all deserve it.
A Commitment to Power Over Empathy and Equity
The corporate world is built on a sense of individualism and everyone looking out for self. And for Black women who are keenly attuned to power and political dynamics at work for the sake of our survival, it can feel scary to challenge power structures lest we risk our own good standing.
This is a dynamic that isn’t just specific to Black women. America’s capitalistic, racist, and patriarchal structure allows this to play out in nearly every corner of life. But if we’re ever going to build working environments that are truly equitable, inclusive, and allow all to thrive, we have to change our relationships with power.
True power is being able to do the right thing when no one’s watching. True power is standing up for what’s right and for those with less power, even when there’s no tangible benefit in it for us. Many Black women have been hurt by other Black women on the job because we miss this point. We choose power and our egos, when we could choose to honor the Black women around us with our actions that are empathetic and considerate.
I know this is a difficult topic to broach, and again, it’s not an opportunity to further stereotype Black women as being angry or always having an attitude. But it is an opportunity to let healing begin and to start acknowledging the many ways that White Supremacy Culture has done a number on us all. We can hold both the system and ourselves accountable to different standards that allow us all to thrive.
If you’re ready to begin your journey, schedule a consultation with me today.
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